Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A Swift exit

On today's Page Six of the New York Post, there's an unflattering story about singer Taylor Swift and her new beau, Conor Kennedy, a member of the Kennedy clan. It's based on an article that ran in the Boston Herald.

I don't know if it's true, and Swift's rep denies it, but the story interests me because it brings up some socially sensitive issues that are worth talking about.

According the publication, the duo crashed the wedding of one of his family members. He didn't RSVP until an hour before the event, so the bride's mother told them they couldn't come. They ignored her wishes and showed up anyway.

Afraid that the megastar Swift would detract from her daughter's big day, the mother of the bride asked them to leave. They didn't take her seriously and stuck around. At the reception, they left during the dinner, but returned when the band started and danced into the evening.

Again, I have no idea of the validity of the story, but I do want to comment on a few things.

1. Always, always, always RSVP. I'm not perfect, I've certainly forgotten to RSVP to events, but it's always a mistake. If there's a No. 1 rule of parties, it's to have the courtesy to let the hosts know whether or not you'll grace the event with your charming presence. No matter the size of the event, if you say you're going to attend you need to be there unless you become ill or some other unfortunate but understandable circumstance pops up in your life. Another major mistake when it comes to RSVPs is to say you're going to be there, then you go back on your decision because you end up getting a better invitation elsewhere. If you call at the last minute and tell the host you can't make it - then word gets back that you went to another event instead - you will be thought of as selfish, wrong and rude.

2. Never, ever ignore your host's wishes. If he or she tells you that you've RSVPd too late to come to an event, don't go. It's not negotiable.

3. Even if you've RSVPd, and the host asks you to leave for whatever reason, go. Don't argue with them, just leave. Hopefully you'll be able to repair the damage at a later date, but that moment is not the time.

I will chalk this alleged incident up to two young people who didn't know better. To me the detail that makes me think it's true is that they left during the dinner. I'm sure that's because there wasn't a place set for them. Sometimes there's an assumption that at a party, there's always room for a few more, but that's not always the case. And if you've ever worked on a seating chart for a sit down dinner, which is truly a slice of hell, you will never again show up at a party without warning.